Recently Whiskey had to push Fancy into what if land. It's one of the many adventures of imagination that we like to go on.
*Sidenote--Whiskey started laughing because her name is whiskey. She isn't harsh like Whiskey, but she is there for a good time.
This is how the game works. You start out by saying What If...followed by all kinds of crazy alternate realities. Example: What if you had three boobs? What if you were married to this person? What if you had a penis? Followed by all kinds of scenarios and outcomes based on the question.
Today, during What if Land, Fancy was married to The Brain, but he was a hermaphrodite. She couldn't understand if that made her a lesbian or bi-sexual. At first the room was filled with laughter, and then it got quiet as serious thought was involved. What if he really was a herme? What if he's keeping secrets after all these years? Is that why he looks 12? Is that the secret behind his fountain of youth look? What if he was Don Quixtoe in that sexy Spanish armor, with water pouring over him like a modern day fireman? What if he wasn't even really married, and he was lying about all of this divorce stuff? What if he needs our help? What if he was secretly making a life-sized gingerbread lady that looked just like Fancy? What if he secretly has a teeny, tiny wiener? What if he's really all about the persuasion?
Scenario 2 of What If Land...What if Whiskey went ape-shit on all the people that have recently wronged her? Would anyone survive the wrath or would it be like the apocalypse?
Scenario 3...What if Tassles was a Persuasion? Her boobies would be really big for an Asian! She is short enough and her feet are tiny, I think she could pull it off. Plus, she does like to frequent nail shops, and I hear her Vietnamese is coming along.
Scneario 4...What if Fancy never finds a job? What if Fancy never moves out of her parent's house? What if Fancy becomes a crazy, cat-lady, spinster librarian? What if Fancy never sees a real wiener again? What if Fancy never gets over being pathetic? What would happen if Fancy ended up like Zooey with a long-ass pinky nail where she strokes her nails across someone's brand new baby?
Scenario 5...What if Whiskey ends up like Dian with crazy "just had sex hair" and those sexy little, scrawny, 80-year old chicken legs? Oh wait, that is a reality, and one that she could pull off!
What If Land is the best alternate reality you can have. Especially when your own reality bites. It's always more fun to go there with a friend because they can snap your ass back to reality! If you could go to What If Land, what would you What If?
*Sidenote--Whiskey started laughing because her name is whiskey. She isn't harsh like Whiskey, but she is there for a good time.
This is how the game works. You start out by saying What If...followed by all kinds of crazy alternate realities. Example: What if you had three boobs? What if you were married to this person? What if you had a penis? Followed by all kinds of scenarios and outcomes based on the question.
Today, during What if Land, Fancy was married to The Brain, but he was a hermaphrodite. She couldn't understand if that made her a lesbian or bi-sexual. At first the room was filled with laughter, and then it got quiet as serious thought was involved. What if he really was a herme? What if he's keeping secrets after all these years? Is that why he looks 12? Is that the secret behind his fountain of youth look? What if he was Don Quixtoe in that sexy Spanish armor, with water pouring over him like a modern day fireman? What if he wasn't even really married, and he was lying about all of this divorce stuff? What if he needs our help? What if he was secretly making a life-sized gingerbread lady that looked just like Fancy? What if he secretly has a teeny, tiny wiener? What if he's really all about the persuasion?Scenario 2 of What If Land...What if Whiskey went ape-shit on all the people that have recently wronged her? Would anyone survive the wrath or would it be like the apocalypse?
Scenario 3...What if Tassles was a Persuasion? Her boobies would be really big for an Asian! She is short enough and her feet are tiny, I think she could pull it off. Plus, she does like to frequent nail shops, and I hear her Vietnamese is coming along.
Scneario 4...What if Fancy never finds a job? What if Fancy never moves out of her parent's house? What if Fancy becomes a crazy, cat-lady, spinster librarian? What if Fancy never sees a real wiener again? What if Fancy never gets over being pathetic? What would happen if Fancy ended up like Zooey with a long-ass pinky nail where she strokes her nails across someone's brand new baby?
Scenario 5...What if Whiskey ends up like Dian with crazy "just had sex hair" and those sexy little, scrawny, 80-year old chicken legs? Oh wait, that is a reality, and one that she could pull off!
What If Land is the best alternate reality you can have. Especially when your own reality bites. It's always more fun to go there with a friend because they can snap your ass back to reality! If you could go to What If Land, what would you What If?
Hmm....what to comment on out of all of that??? Don't worry Fancy, i'm sure you'll find a job. I hear that teachers are in high demand these days!
ReplyDeleteWell I could get a job on a street corner right now if I needed to......but thanks for the vote of confidence. By chance, do you happen to be my favorite anonymous commenter? I feel like you're stalking me, but I like it!
ReplyDelete~Fancy
What If, you had the nicest legs, but had shoulders like a linebacker? What if because of those burly shoulders, your boobs got bigger to take advantage of the extra space? What if that sexy stud Christian Slater saw you at preschool pickup stared at those hooooters?(yes 4-o's)
ReplyDelete