Nails 2000

It all began when Whiskey Tango decided we needed to go to Nails 2000. Since she has an Asian doctor, and since she saw him just today, she was feeling under the influence of the persuasion, The Asian Persuasian. Whiskey ordered the delux pedicure, that diva bitch, but really, her feet needed the most help. Whiskey's Persuasian popped her pedicure cherry, with her creepy greasy, bleached orange hair. She was not whiskey's idea of the perfect Persuasian to devirginizer her. She had no sensitivity to her because she placed whiskey's feet in boiling water, cut her toe, then placed her feet in burning hot wax. Whiskey, the ever-aspiring hooch had to follow in Tassel's hoochie mama footsteps, and selected the same color.

Tassels, who had the most recent pedicure of the three of us, still managed to require the most scraping, leaving a pile of skin flakes on her Persuasian's towel. She had to leave to "shake it out" while swearing under breath in Vietnamese. This poor Persuasian was an angel amongst persuasions. Her hands were scrubbed raw when she was finished because of the sandpaper-like effect of Tassel's beasty long leg hairs (JACK PINE SAVAGE) Tassels, ever the hooch selected hooker red with sparkles. I think Tassels needs to get laid.

 Fancy, the last to select her nail polish took the leftover Persuasian. Little did she know that she was getting the rude one. I mean, that is her usual luck. This lady went so far as to ask if she owned a pumice stone because Fancy's feet were so damn calloused like her cold ass heart. When she said no, she didn't, the Persuasian told her she needed to. She said everyday she needed to use it, and she would have softer feet. A little while later, fancy's Persuasian brought out the little flip flops. They were a one size fits small. Fancy thought it was her persuasian's first time placing the flip flops on someone as she couldn't even get it on her. Whiskey and Tassels were dying and texting back and forth about Fancy's big man feet. Eventually the Persuasian figured out how to place the flip flop appropriately. Fancy, ever the classy and fanciful one, went out on her own and selected purple polish.

 As we drove away, Tassels asked Whiskey if it was worth the $40 for her extra special pedi. Whiskey's response was, "it wasn't bad.". So thanks persuasian's for burning our skin, cutting our toes and tearing down our self-esteems.

 Tassel's persuasion just left to put her shavings outside on the sidewalk. Meanwhile Tassels did her best imitation..squints and all.

Are we having fun?  Whiskey sure isn't. Her feet are in boiling hot water!  But then there's Fancy...she sure does look fancy.

Tiny shoes...this picture doesn't show her toes hanging over the edge on the other side.  It was squeezing one of the evil step sisters into Cinderella's slippers. 

Look at those hairy legs...those belong to a Jack Pine Savage

TOE BONERS

Fancy's so conceited, she included both of her feet.  Guess who has the creepy, long toe-boner toes? First person to guess right gets a picture of fancy's milky whites...please include your email address!  No anonymous comments, please.