Super size me!

One of the Nipples, we won't say who, had to poop in a McDonalds cup as a young child.  Oh hell, it was me Whiskey!  But I didn't destroy the bathroom in the former post "Destroyer of Bathrooms!"

Here is the experience in it's fullest most raw form.

One day when I was a child I was on my way to a indoor soccer game with my parents.  My parents had to make a detour to Walmart.

***Side note: I hate Walmart!

While they were leisurely taking their time in the store I suddenly felt the urge to take a giant crap!  I couldn't leave the car because I had to watch my younger sibling who was in the car with me.

***Side note: My sibling was an infant and I didn't want to unbuckle and get them out of their car seat.

I waited and waited for as long as I could, with clenched butt cheeks, until I felt as though I might die.  The turkey goobles in my stomach were growing wildly out of control!  Panicked I knew I was going to poop my pants.  What could I do?!  I frantically looked around and saw  what was to me the holy grail of cups.  It was a large cup from Mcdonalds that had been left in the back seat of our SUV.  I looked around and thanked the good Lord that our windows were tinted and then I pulled pants down and took a dump in the cup!

I can't lie I felt so relieved after taking a swirly crap in that cup.

Now I had a McDonalds cup full of crap.  What was I going to do with it?  The car started to smell and the feeling of panic began to rush over me again.  Sweating I looked around.....and then I saw it, the garbage can near the front of the store.  I jumped out of the car and ran with my cup O' crap and threw it into the garbage can as quickly and as inconspicuously as possible.

I get back to the car and five minutes see my parents walking out of the store.  I buckled my self up and sat hoping I wouldn't be found out.

***Side note: I did wipe with baby wipes from the diaper bag.

My parents get into the car and notice the smell.  At this point I was so happy to have a sibling that was still an infant.  My mom got the baby out of the seat, checked his diaper and said, " Wow Johny must have had gas.  He really smelled up the car!"

I laid back in my seat and chuckled to myself .  I just let my infant brother take the blame for my smelly crap!