Birthday Blow Out

Because as previously mentioned, I had to sing at the big Relief Society Birthday Blow Out, I had to drag and drug Whiskey there with me.  You know some of the events that unfolded, but now I think it is time to share with you, our beloved audience, some of the creepers we have to interact with on a regular basis.  This may or may not be against the law, we are unsure.  Hopefully no one stumbles upon this blog and then sues us...oh wait, they can, what would they get, Tassels' parent's house?

Meet Sexy Zecksy...now this nickname can be used for her or her husband.  I heard he almost died and was in the hospital.

**Side note--for almost a year, everyone at church thought her husband was dying and in the hospital.  In reality, he was really at home, just going through a year-long inactivity period.

Now Sexy Zecksy is quite the cackler.  She has a cackle heard round the world.  No matter where you live, you've heard her, you just didn't realize it was her.  She has a beautiful, curly, blonde mullet, and I'm so pleased that if you look closely, she's sporting a killer camel toe in this picture!  THANKS SEXY ZECKSY for those tight pants.

If you glance to the left of her, you'll see the ward midget!  She sings like a knock-off opera singer from BYU.  If you can believe it, she claims to have been proposed to about 8 times while in college.  I think someone is a GIANT fabricator!

Next we have the Zoo-Meister.  9-inch nails has nothing on her...her fingernails rival the length of her actual fingers.  I think she's going for a Guinness World Record.  To quote a dear, OCD friend about the Zooer, I will recall the following story.  When my friend, T had her 4th baby, she brought him to church when he was a few weeks old.  The Zoo-Meister stroked his tiny, fragile little body with her creepy, nasty, long nails.  T said right then and there, she wanted to dip her baby in hand sanitizer from head to toe.

Also in this picture is CAB, which stands for CRAZY ASS BITCH.  We'd elaborate on her CAB-ness, but that deserves a post all in itself.  Let's just say she has it out for Whiskey!

Finally we get to Fancy's Arch Nemesis, Bushy M.  Since we all know about her rudeness, there's not much to mention aside from that hair needs a flat iron, those clothes need a burn barrel, and that giraffe neck needs broken.  Clearly, you can all see what I'm talking about!














At the conclusion of the evening, Whiskey and Fancy, in true TRASHY fashion, snapped some photos in the hallway.

**Side note--we are like adult teenagers!

Here's my little Ghetto Superstar

Here's Whiskey prepping for when she delivers her baby in a rice patty field.  I think that's Dr. Joeng's birth plan, being a Persuasion and all. 

We had to get some shots together, as well.  Yes, we are glamorous wherever we go....and crazy!

Here's Fancy hiding from Bushy...I don't think she saw me!

And finally, Fancy and her beasty side, trying not to kill Bushy, who we all know absolutely deserves to go down!