Whiskey, and I quote, "was feeling generous" and decided to call a few friends for a spontaneous night out. She called up Big Blue, aka Babe, and we headed to the Wine Cellar.
**Side Note--By "we" I mean Whiskey and myself, Fancy, as you see, we're currently attached at the hip, and the end is in sight for our impending separation. Thus we have decided to amp up our time together and continue on with our friend addiction until the time that Fancy moves away.
Whiskey and I previously went to this restaurant. You can find that posting here. We were lucky enough this time around to get the same waiter, Drew. I'm pretty certain that he recognized us. He gave some awkward eye contact which indicated we looked familiar to him. We of course instantly recognized the Drew, as we have discussed him on more than one occasion. However for Babe, this was her maiden voyage with Captain Drew.
Drew came to over to us, and sweet talked his way into our hearts. With his gorgeous, dark-colored, Fabio-ish locks of curl, as he whispered, "I can't believe it's not butter" in our ears, we instantly ordered his suggestions, aka the most expensive things on the menu.
Twitter-pated, Fancy made her way to the bathroom. Not to knock off a batch by hand or anything, but because she had to pee. While fluttering through the hall, she nearly tripped and took out the lead singer, "Bones" and took out the entire band playing in the restaurant.
**Side Note--With a pelvic thrust to the face, Fancy instantly knew why he was called "Bones" which obviously was a more socially acceptable term instead of Boner.
Fancy reached for a lamp to try to catch herself, but got her fingers entangled in the lampshade causing quite the scene. Thankfully, she made it to the bathroom in time to chit chat with an older lady who was apparently drunk and in need of company. She solicited Fancy to give her husband a birthday lap dance. Fancy, ever the exhibitionist considered it until she remembered Drew, and knew if she wanted a chance with him, she couldn't be lap dancing some old-ass, creeper!
Once back at the table, Drew stopped by to tell us our food would be out momentarily. Fancy all a twitter, was acting like a tween. Whiskey informed Drew we were not drunk, in fact, we were Sister Wives. With a twinkle in his eye, and a boner in his pants, he proceeded to bring out Babe's Artisan Cheese Platter.
While explaining, Fancy took it upon herself to ask if one of the grapes was an anal bead. Babe, totally avoiding the comment, and Whiskey, shaking her head and shielding her eyes in shame, pretended to be mortified. Drew, ever the classy waiter, laughed and said, "You ladies are a lot of fun." Fancy retorted with, "Cody, our husband, hasn't been to my bed for a few weeks. Everything resembles something you'd find in a sex shop to me." Fabio, I mean Drew, smiled his pretty smile, and patted Fancy on the hand, while casually slipping her his number.
**Side Note--This is Whiskey. What really went down, after Fancy awkwardly asked if he would feed one of the anal bead grapes to her, was a restraining order. Drew locked eyes with me and my luscious pregnancy boobs, and asked if Cody would mind if he bedded with me tonight. I promptly threw everything off the table, whipped up my Mennonite dress, and said, "Take me right here, right now!"
**Side Note--Fancy again....Whiskey's a liar. A bold faced, pregnant LIAR!!! It was really my Mennonite dress that got whipped out that night....more on that in the Tom Selleck Post.
Meanwhile, Babe, ever the autism advocate, was too busy talking to her straw all about her quote unquote autistic 18 month old.
**Side Note--too young to receive a diagnosis. SHUT IT BABE. SHUT IT NOW!
We wound up our time at the Wine Cellar, left Drew a hefty tip, and embarked on our next adventure to Shari's.
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