Christening Big Richard Style

As we all know, I'm in the process of an eternal divorce, and since I have a new place, it was time to christen it.  What do people christen their house with?  Some people holy water, some people use sage, but not Fancy.  In true Fancy style, I prefer to use a sex toy, a giant dildo, the one and only Big Richard...elongated for Big Dick.

One night I was climbing into bed when Big Richard peaked out at me from the closet and gave me a sad eye, like he hadn't be used in a while.  At first I thought I was hallucinating because I had just taken a sleeping pill, but then I realized Big Richard had missed me.  I grabbed him by his scrawny little shaft, and placed him gently under my pillow for a late night, self-induced loving.

To quote Seinfeld, yada, yada, yada.....

Several days passed with Big Richard in various places throughout my bed.  Each morning I would just make my bed and say goodbye to Big Richard for the day as I headed off to work.  One morning, I had just made my bed, when Fancy Jr. climbed on top.  He said, "mom, there's something in your bed!  I feel it, right here!"  At this point, I could see that Big Richard was trying to wiggle his way out of the bed, to avoid contact with the child.  Fancy Jr. wouldn't give up.  He kept going for Big Richard, watching him like a snake in the grass. Finally I was able to scoot Fancy J outta the room.

When he was gone, I reached under the covers, and I pulled out Big Richard.  I told him it was time for him to go back to his home in the nightstand beside my bed, where Fancy Jr wouldn't find out his identity, and I told him not to worry because we would be reunited again very soon....

**Side Note--This is for YOU, Tassels!