Eye Graping....

I thought the grapist was bad, but there's nothing creeper than being hit on by your creepy brother in law...who should be in jail...for some crazy reason he isn't....

I was casually walking to my car after church, when the fat little gnome rolled in and leaned like a cholo, not to be confused with a churro....and eye graped me.  He said, and I quote, "I'm not trying to be awkward or make you feel uncomfortable, but I didn't want to go without saying this.  Whatever you're doing, you look really good.  I don't want to make you feel weird or anything, and there's a word that I would use to describe it, but it might make you feel uncomfortable, so I won't use it.  What exactly have you been doing to yourself?"

I looked at him and said, "I got rid of my husband for starters."  He said, "Oh that's not it.  There's more.  You just look good, and I wanted you to know."

Yeah, I'm pretty sure that was effing AWKWARD!!!!