Friday, February 10, 2012

Milky White Areolas

Every woman has her insecurities, but when it comes to your boobies, you feel the pressure if you're going to measure up in some way to other women.  Having decent to large sized bosoms, I never thought I would feel insecure about my breastisis.  When I gave birth to my one and only child (it was traumatic) he had no trouble finding the goods, like the typical male.  Since it was my first go-round with the whole breast-feeding thing. I wanted some opinions to make sure the little guy was hooking up to my milking machine correctly, and thus the lactation specialist came to pay me a little visit.  After giving me a few pointers and feeling up the girls (all without even asking, the pushy broad) she exclaimed, "My! Why I've never seen areolas so light before!"  Uh, hello, tact lady, tact.  You look at titties for a living, and you're going to make a judgement call here? And seriously crazy lady, I just had a baby, a baby via a c-section.  Really? You're going to insult me?  If I had ya know, popped the little urchin outta my honey pot, and I wasn't currently recovering from major abdominal surgery and 9 very long months of pregnancy, I might have hopped out of the bed and snapped her like a twig.  Instead, I dropped my jaw in disbelief, not even knowing if there was anything to say.

But now, a few years later, thanks to Lady Gaga, I can embrace my milky white areolas because baby I was born this way.

5 comments:

  1. they look good to me!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Dear Anonymous--

    When was the last time you had a proper look?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. definitely not lately enough

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    2. Who is this? What a freakin creepo!
      -Whiskey

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    3. Well Anonymous, come over, and you may get a peep show. Seems like everyone else is lately...

      ~Fancy

      Delete