Well more like YOU going shitting in the dark. Let's begin with this: Fancy Jr was NOT born in a barn. Despite Fancy being "plain white trash" she actually bathes daily and requires her child to do the same. With that said, here's the poop, I mean scoop.
Fancy and Fancy Jr were over at Whiskey's. The kids were all playing happily outside, since the weather was warm today. Whiskey Jr. #1 came in for a minute, then went back outside. A few minutes later, she came back and told Whiskey, "I snuck a roll of toilet paper because Fancy Jr is outside pooping in our hideout." Whiskey and I looked at each other with horror, when I immediately got up and headed outside. Whiskey, never surprised by the crazy of children, remained in her seat, laughing hysterically! When I got outside, there in a cluster of pine trees in a squatting position was FJ. Fancy called for Whiskey to grab her camera because she wanted to document this momentous occasion. FJ was embarrassed and tried to move all around. I told him to finish his business (I mean come on, what would you have done in this situation?) and to come into the house. He quickly finished what he was doing, and he came into Whiskey's. I told him to wash his hands. He was wearing his boots, and he tracked poop ALL OVER WHISKEY'S HOUSE! Whiskey, as friend of the year, cleaned up all of the dung from all over the carpet.
Fancy began gathering her things and told Fancy Jr to get out into the car. Fancy walked away with her head in shame. Whiskey wants me to mention, and we call HER white trash. How will I ever live this down?!
**Side Note--Fancy Jr received a note home today, stating that he was given an award by a teacher for his manners...apparently, he always opens doors for others, and he was congratulated.
These two stories both took place in the same day. I swear it was a gift from the God of Irony!
Just when we think that we might be running out of funny material for our blog, events like this unfold. I wish that we could blog about fiction, but nope, our non-fiction lives are way too exciting to NOT share with everyone out there.
Fancy and Fancy Jr were over at Whiskey's. The kids were all playing happily outside, since the weather was warm today. Whiskey Jr. #1 came in for a minute, then went back outside. A few minutes later, she came back and told Whiskey, "I snuck a roll of toilet paper because Fancy Jr is outside pooping in our hideout." Whiskey and I looked at each other with horror, when I immediately got up and headed outside. Whiskey, never surprised by the crazy of children, remained in her seat, laughing hysterically! When I got outside, there in a cluster of pine trees in a squatting position was FJ. Fancy called for Whiskey to grab her camera because she wanted to document this momentous occasion. FJ was embarrassed and tried to move all around. I told him to finish his business (I mean come on, what would you have done in this situation?) and to come into the house. He quickly finished what he was doing, and he came into Whiskey's. I told him to wash his hands. He was wearing his boots, and he tracked poop ALL OVER WHISKEY'S HOUSE! Whiskey, as friend of the year, cleaned up all of the dung from all over the carpet.
Fancy began gathering her things and told Fancy Jr to get out into the car. Fancy walked away with her head in shame. Whiskey wants me to mention, and we call HER white trash. How will I ever live this down?!
**Side Note--Fancy Jr received a note home today, stating that he was given an award by a teacher for his manners...apparently, he always opens doors for others, and he was congratulated.
These two stories both took place in the same day. I swear it was a gift from the God of Irony!
Just when we think that we might be running out of funny material for our blog, events like this unfold. I wish that we could blog about fiction, but nope, our non-fiction lives are way too exciting to NOT share with everyone out there.
Ha ha there is no friend better than the friend who will clean poop from the floors while laughing!
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